I want to continue January’s theme of resolution by offering my solutions to resolving within relationships with people who matter to you.

Now that we know what to do with difficult situations and unresolvable people (i.e., figure out how to resolve within yourself so you stop making yourself crazy), I am committed to breaking down how resolutions are attained in relationships where the person that you are dealing with also cares to resolve with you.

I highly recommend to keep friends in view with whom you are able to resolve dilemmas and conflicts with. They are your key to an open, clean and clear heart.

Knowing how to resolve tension, conflict and hurt in relationship makes for enjoyable relationships rich with depth, safety and comfort.

These next posts are dedicated to those who want to be a best friend; to those that want to have healthy relationships, and to the family member who wants to solve their families discomfort instead of run from their families pain.  It is also dedicated to the people who have lost friends because they did not know how to resolve relational tension, and decided to turn away instead of turn towards what mattered to them.

Solutions are a means to an end. They are made by finding the problem, addressing it with care, and then repeating what works until you feel a calm stillness of connection within a conversation and the relational bond at hand. Solutions, and therefore resolutions, are ways to move towards a different result – they change unhealthy patterns, and detour unwanted experiences from happening again.

In relationships, resolutions involve approaching a relationship or situation with solidarity, while standing within the winds of our own vulnerabilities. They tend to require bold but steady maneuvers, like saying, “you know, I was out of line when I said or did that,” or “hey, I am hurting because when you said or did so-and-so, I thought this and that.” This is both very difficult, and very, very simple to do all at the same time.

I have a wonderful friend who has helped me experience the fresh-aired feeling of safety and ease that can grow in relationship when the people involved are committed to bringing what is vulnerable into the relationship in a conscious way. Whether painful or shameful, maddening or deadening, this friend will let me know when I have had an impact on him that doesn’t feel good or is causing him to withdraw from our relationship. I do all that I can to return the favor, even through we are triggered differently within our relationship. We both do what we can to keep the relationship clean of miscommunication, hurt, misunderstandings, or bad feelings.  We sweep with communication, honesty, and courage to expose what is feeling awkward in the way the relationship is functioning (like, “text me back already”).  Without fail, we work towards the resolution of any tension between us, and this ensures that we feel close and secure in our friendship. He is a gift to my life.

People that know how to resolve and lean into relationships within their difficulties are precious gems.

When we bring our vulnerabilities into relationship with people that will listen and consider our feelings, the risk can lead to an outstanding reward. The present relationship can be tended to alongside our unresolved relational wounds from our past. When we work towards resolve, it touches us in all the places that have been hurt in the same way. A sequence is completed, a solution for a past complication is found, and we move forward with more vitality and faith in the relationships we are choosing to live with in the present.

I look forward to sharing with you different ways that you might be able to resolve in relationship with those you care about as January comes to a close.